We humans do a lot of strange things for a lot of reasons. For instance, if you happened to walk into my house at around 10:00 o’clock at night, on no particular night, you might hear a noise in the basement that would prompt you to descend the stairs for a look see.

Why you would walk into my house unannounced at 10:00 o’clock at night on no particular night and creep down my basement steps is strange in itself but we’ll overlook that for the sake of this story.

Besides I have some friends and relatives who it really wouldn’t be that much of a surprise for me to find them sauntering about my house unannounced at an odd hour. However, they might find it strange (or perhaps not) that upon their investigation of the noise from the basement, they found me pedaling my bicycle and watching television with headphones on.

I am a fair weather cyclist and seeing how the weather has been a little unfair lately I am forced to ride indoors. It’s the same concept as the hamster wheel, only my cage is bigger; I have television, and am required to go to the bathroom in a specific location. Women and their rules.

I generally ride about an hour or two and if I had to do it without the distraction of television I wouldn’t do it. So, the most important part of riding indoors is finding something interesting to watch to keep your mind busy while your body works hard to go absolutely nowhere.

All this in an effort to battle the genetic gifts of heart attack and high cholesterol and maybe log a few more years above ground. If I get run over by a bus tomorrow this effort will have been a waste of time and my soul will be eternally miffed.

Since uninteresting to watch programs seem to be the most prevalent, finding something interesting to watch can be a challenge. The other night I found an interesting documentary on the internet about Max Gerson, a German physician from the early 1900s, who developed the Gerson Therapy. Gerson Therapy is an alternative dietary therapy which claims to cure cancer and many other degenerative diseases.

Gerson Therapy requires patients to drink about a dozen eight-ounce glasses of fresh organic fruit and vegetable juice every day. This is roughly 20 pounds of fruits and vegetables a day. As I pedaled I thought, “That’s a whole lotta roughage but if it cures all of these ailments why have I never heard of it and why don’t more people do it?” Yes, I actually said that to myself, and then myself heard the other major part of Gerson Therapy.

The narrator of the documentary began to talk about organic coffee and how coffee was another staple of the Gerson Therapy. “Fruits, vegetables, and coffee–I like all three of those, maybe the Gerson diet is something I should try so I can live forever.” Then the narrator matter-of-factly began to give detailed instructions on how to properly prepare the coffee to be taken into the body a little further south than I am accustomed. A calm setting was suggested. I would suggest foregoing the sugar cubes as well.

I squirmed on my bike seat. Forever will have to wait.